Lost in the maze of motherhood
I often describe the early years of motherhood as a maze.
A fun adventure with twists and turns, but also with lots of potential for losing your way, conflicting choices and regularly running into dead ends.
Looking down from above, there’s something so intricate and beautiful, but standing in its midst, tall hedges either side, it can feel daunting - claustrophobic even.
When you do get lost it’s easy to feel frustrated, annoyed at yourself and afraid that you'll never find your way back.
And it can feel exhausting, all the seemingly never-ending choices. Some get you closer to where you want to go, but some feel like a step backwards towards feeling confused and lost once more.
"I feel lost since becoming a mum” is one of the most common things women say to me when we speak.
And that is because it can be a completely normal part of matrescence, and it can look and feel different for everyone.
Lost = feeling like all you do now is care for others
Lost = never doing any of the things you enjoyed doing before becoming a mum
Lost = not knowing your sense of style and individuality anymore
Lost = feeling like you don't belong within your old friendship groups
Lost = your goals and dreams aren't clear anymore
Lost = not taking your own needs and care seriously
Lost = feeling like something is not right inside but not being able to figure out what to do
But going back to the maze metaphor, while we often associate a maze with getting lost, it can also symbolise a journey into self-understanding. One of curiosity, finding new nooks and crannies to explore. One of resilience, patience and inner-strength.
Sometimes you go the wrong way, have to retrace your steps, choose different paths. But you keep going and trust your instincts because the only compass you need to navigate the maze of motherhood is deep inside.
You will find yourself again. She might be different to the old you, but she will emerge and she will be beautiful.
