Forget bouncing back, it’s all about growing forward
I was speaking to a client recently about the pressure she feels to ‘bounce back’ following her second child and have been thinking about how damaging those two little words can be: Bounce. Back.
It’s no secret that our culture actively rewards mothers for how quickly they can ‘bounce back’ into their old bodies, jeans, jobs and lifestyles.
But here are 3 reasons why I believe it's time to start reframing what motherhood looks like and to question whether bouncing back is a goal we really want to subscribe to:
It’s an unrealistic, and potentially dangerous expectation. Bouncing-back as portrayed in the media, on our TV screens and all over our social media feeds makes it seem effortless, like there isn’t hard work, sacrifice or in some cases, risk to our mental and or physical health involved. Believe me, there is always a cost somewhere, even if we cannot see it.
Pretending that everything should go back to ‘normal’, that is the way it was before we had a child, is a dishonour to everything we go through during matrescence - both the changes that happen inside and outside our bodies. Things will never be exactly the same and that’s okay. Take a moment to celebrate all that you have achieved mama!
The more mothers I speak to, and the further into my own motherhood journey I go, the clearer it becomes that we’re not meant to ‘bounce back’. We’re meant to grow forward. Matrescence is a continuous transition that requires us to soften into each new phase.
So let’s banish ‘bouncing back’ from our vocabulary around motherhood and instead, let’s embrace the opportunity for reinvention that comes with becoming a mother.
