Ghosted: when three-quarters of mamas feel invisible, isn’t it time we admitted we have a problem?

31 Oct

A recent campaign by the motherhood app Peanut revealed that 72% of UK mothers feel invisible, and a whopping 93% feel underappreciated, unacknowledged, or unseen.

Sadly, this doesn’t come as a surprise to me. It’s the ‘why’ of my business.

These stats highlight the alarming reality of modern-day motherhood, and it’s high time we acknowledge that we have a problem. Despite mothers being idealised, they lack the support they need to transition into and through what is arguably the most vulnerable years of their lives.

Instead of being at the forefront of the institution of motherhood, mothers feel neglected, unheard and misunderstood.

As someone who has struggled with the transition into motherhood herself, I understand all too well the importance of providing support, and the consequences of when it’s not there.

Some of the other issues raised in the report echo the conversations I have with my clients every day, including:

90% feel like they’re expected to work like they don’t have kids and mother like they don’t work.
94% feel that they’re expected to self-sacrifice and put themselves last.
66% say the lack of empathy and understanding contributes to feeling invisible.
97% feel society puts on pressure them to “do it all” and “be it all”.
95% agreed that this invisibility and lack of support negatively affects their mental health.

I strongly believe that we have a long way to go as a society when it comes to the way we view, value, and support mothers. The reconstruction of the societal infrastructure of patriarchal motherhood will not happen overnight, and that’s a conversation for another day, but we can take small steps - starting today - to make mothers feel seen and heard, such as:

Compassionate conversations that validate all motherhood experiences
More empathy and inclusivity within the workplace
Normalising shared parental roles and challenging gender stereotypes around caregiving
Destigmatising the conversation around maternal mental health

It’s time to acknowledge the real cultural pressures on mothers and start supporting them in the way that they deserve.